How parents can help their kids get recruited

If you're a parent or guardian, you're probably already doing a lot: driving to tournaments, filming games, paying for travel ball. The NAIA puts it simply on its page for parents: Parents and guardians play a key role in planning the collegiate athletic career path of their children.

The trick is knowing which parts are yours and which belong to your athlete. Here's what the associations and college coaches say, from their own pages.

Your athlete leads, more each year

The NCAA's recruiting page describes how the roles shift: Parents or guardians often lead this process in 9th and 10th grade. Then: But by 11th and 12th grade, students should take ownership and lead communication.

Parents or guardians often lead this process in 9th and 10th grade. But by 11th and 12th grade, students should take ownership and lead communication.

The NCAA

That's a good way to think about it. Early on, you're doing most of the planning. By junior year, your athlete is the one writing to coaches, answering their questions and making the choices, with you in the background.

What to do

Keep the schedule

Recruiting runs on dates: questionnaires, camps, visits, applications, aid deadlines. Most teenagers have a lot going on, and this is where a parent helps most.

Keep one calendar of camps, showcases, visits and application deadlines.
Plan visits early. St. Lawrence University's volleyball page says, Visits should be completed by the end of your junior year if you are considering St. Lawrence University. Other colleges have their own timing, so check each team's page.
Set a budget for camps, travel and visits before the season starts, so you're choosing which camps matter instead of saying yes to all of them. Unofficial visits are paid for by the family. VCU's compliance page says the prospective student-athlete and their family may visit a college campus at his or her own expense.

Keep eligibility on track

This is paperwork, and it's easy to miss. Help your athlete stay ahead of it.

NCAA Division I and II. Athletes register with the NCAA Eligibility Center. The NCAA's page for high schools says Students and their families decide when to register, and they are responsible for choosing the right Eligibility Center account. A few things to watch:

Core courses. Division I asks for 16 NCAA-approved core courses. The NCAA advises: Make sure courses you have taken or plan to take are on your high school's NCAA-approved core-course list. Sit down with the school counselor before each year's schedule is set.
Core GPA. Your core-course GPA only includes those courses and may differ from your transcript GPA. Division I requires 2.3 and Division II 2.2.
Transcripts. The NCAA tells students: Ask each high school you attended to submit your official transcript. If your athlete changed schools, that means every one.

NCAA Division III. Division III schools set their own academic standards on campus. Ask each college's admissions office what it needs.

NAIA. The NAIA tells parents: Have your student register at PlayNAIA so that NAIA coaches will know they are ready and available. Parents can sign up too: PlayNAIA allows parents to connect their account to their student's account, so you can follow eligibility progress.

Junior colleges have their own rules. Ask the college's athletics office what your athlete needs to send.

For test scores, check each college's own admissions page: it says whether scores are required, optional or used for academic aid.

Ask about money

This is a fair place for parents to lead.

Run the net price calculator on each college's website. The University of Redlands women's soccer page points recruits to it: The Net Price Calculator provides an early approximation of what a new first-year undergraduate student can expect to pay.
Know the level's rules. Wilmington College's recruiting page notes: NCAA Division III student-athletes are not permitted to receive athletically-related financial aid. Academic and need-based aid still apply.
Ask the hard questions. The NAIA's parents page lists questions worth asking, such as: If my son or daughter suffers a season-ending injury, will the financial aid agreement be honored?
Meet with financial aid. Some visits include it. St. Lawrence volleyball's visits can include a meeting for your parents with a financial aid representative.
Get every offer in writing, and compare them side by side.

Help with an honest look at level and fit

You've watched more of your athlete's games than anyone. That makes you useful, and also a little biased. The NAIA suggests parents Assess your student-athlete's skills and Consider which schools offer your student's major.

Ask their coaches (high school and club) where they see your athlete playing, and listen to the answer.
Look at more than one level. Division II, Division III, NAIA and junior colleges all have strong programs. Here's how to tell if you're being recruited.
Keep the major in view. Your athlete will be a student for four years either way.
Ask your athlete what they want, and how far from home they'd really be happy.

What not to do

Don't write or send the emails

Coaches can tell. Randolph-Macon's volleyball staff writes: We prefer to hear from you directly and with a personal email and not through a 'service' or from your parents. The same page adds that they respect a parent's interest, but we really need to hear from you.

Redlands women's soccer puts the reason plainly: We want to get to know you not only as a soccer player but also as a person. A coach can't learn that from a parent's email.

You can help your athlete make a list of programs, gather video and schedules, and proofread. The words should be theirs. See what coaches look for in a first email.

Don't do the talking on calls and visits

On a visit, let your athlete answer the coach's questions, even if there's a pause. The visit is the coach's chance to get to know your athlete. Save your questions (cost, aid, housing, academics) for when the coach turns to you, or for the financial aid office.

Don't contact coaches in your athlete's place

If your athlete isn't ready to reach out, that's useful to know. It may mean they need help getting organized, or that they're not sure they want to play in college. Talk about it at home. Don't step in for them. Here's how coaches want to be contacted.

Staying in the loop

You don't need to send the messages to know what's happening. Ask your athlete to share the list of colleges, the next steps and the dates. On HomeTeam, parents and guardians can be invited to the household to follow the same list, steps and dates, and one Season Pass covers the whole family.

Sources

All pages read November 14, 2026.